Future

I wish I knew my future and what it holds for me. But don't we all want to know that?? I really just wish I knew what my career is going to end up being - cause as of late, I keep jumping from one to the other, who it is that I'm supposed to marry - hell, it could even be someone I already know, but they haven't appealed to me yet, if I will have boys or girls for children and their names - I've been hoping for 2 boys for years haha. Where will I live as I grow older? Will everything work itself out in the end? Everyone says it will, but I have my doubts because nothing ever works out for me. I don't have the best luck...with anything, to put it simply. This may just be me complaining, but it never fails, just when I think everything may work out fine, something comes up from behind and pushes me. So then I'm covered in dirt, or in this case, I become this huge pessimist about EVERYTHING and I stay that way until I think its time to stop complaining about what happened last and move on. This can last merely a day to weeks at a time. Depends on what happened. I personally think I'm overly cursed when it comes to guys, but what do I know I guess. Here's part of the problem - I used to put myself out there too much and get rejected and now I don't put myself out there enough so guys don't think I'm really interested in them. I don't know how to make it a happy medium. Ugh. I need guidance more than anything I think. If I only knew someone who could help me. Anyone know a life coach? Haha.